Windows To The Soul
by Byproduct of Evil
Summary: I, Severus Snape, rescued Harry Potter from starvation at his relatives old home. Now I face old secrets being revealed. COMPLETE!
1. Instincts

**A/N:** My brain's coming up with loads of crazy ideas for fics at the moment. Here's one of the ideas that actually makes sense, or at least it does compared to the others.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine.

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**Windows To The Soul**

**Chapter one - Instincts**

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 I walked down Privet Drive (A/N: Don't ask me why he's walking, just seems to fit), the street that that blasted Potter lives in, my cloak swirling behind me, as usual.

I can't believe Albus is making me go there. We hate one another, but he's making me check up on him. Though I suppose it will be worth it to see Potter's face when he finds out his most hated Professor (with the possible exception of Trelawney. I can see why he hates her), Severus Snape shows up to enquire about his well being.

I've never fully understood why he wants people to check up on Potter. He's probably being treated like a king by his muggle relatives. I wouldn't doubt it for a second, but Albus had that damn twinkle in his eye that said 'I-know-something-you-don't' when he told me, though his face was sad. Yes, he did know something I didn't know, and now I wish I hadn't found out, but more about that later.

I stopped in front of a house. Potter lived at number four, if my memory served me correctly. Just before I went up and knocked on the door I looked around. It was horrible! Nice, neat square lawns perfectly cut. I suppressed a shudder. No wizard could be this neat. It's a proven fact. It was obvious Potter was the only one of our kind living here.

I walked up to the front door and banged my fist loudly on it. There was no response. I frowned. I knocked again. Still no response.

This time I waited a few minutes, them knocked once again. It was the same as before. No response. 

I made up my mind. Albus had told me if there was no response I should go straight in. He doesn't seem to like Potter's relatives much. I wonder why? At that point in time I was clueless about it.

I quickly apparated into the hallway there. It was empty. It didn't look like it had been lived in for several days. 

Under normal circumstances I would have just left it, but for some strange reason I felt compelled to stay, as if my instincts wouldn't allow me to leave until I saw something in this house that would totally change my life forever.

Most of the time I ignore my instincts - and I mean most. Sometimes something tells me to follow them, though not always. And when it does, it's right to do so. 

I entered what looked like a living room, though it was hard to tell with no furniture. It was just like the hall - empty and had probably been so for days. Next I moved onto the kitchen. It was the same as the other rooms. 

After a few minutes I had check all the downstairs rooms, but my gut was telling me that there was still something I had to find out from here. I climbed the stairs and the landing was the same as the rest of the house that I had seen so far. By now I wished my instincts would just bugger off - they can get bloody annoying after a while. 

I walked into one room. It was the bathroom - unused again, as were the three bedrooms I checked next. Finally I came to the last room. It had lots of padlocks and bolts on it, and if I hadn't checked every other room in the house, I would still have somehow known that what I was looking for was in there.

I quickly withdrew my wand and pointed it to the locks.

"Alohamora," I whispered, and there were several clicks, showing that the locks were undone. Next I unbolted the door. I opened it and was knocked back by the smell.

It was a terrible stench, and it made my eyes water. It was so bad, even worse than any of the stanches I had encountered during my time with Voldemort, when he went down to the cells to torture some poor, defenceless victim that had been there for months, never leaving the cell.

 I looked into the room and it was pitch black. My instincts (bloody things, I wish they would just leave me alone) were going into over-drive.

I walked into the room and lit up my wand with a quick 'Lumos'. I turned and saw why the room was so dark. The window had been bricked up. Then I looked around the room. It was totally bare, nothing on the walls. They were a disgusting colour, sort of like the colour of Lord Voldemort's cells.

All of this, though disturbing to me, wasn't the worst of it. There was still more to come, and as I turned to the bed I saw the person I had originally been sent to check up on.

H--Potter was lying on the bed. His arms were manacled to the bedpost, and were cut and bright red. His shirt was torn and his ribs were easily visible. His back was faced towards me and I could see scars, cuts and bruises all over.

He turned his head to me and I saw fire reflected in his eyes. This was strange. There was no light in the room except for the light my wand was emitting, which most certainly did not look like fire.

I puzzled over this for a few seconds, and then I remembered reading somewhere that the eyes were the windows to the soul, and if you looked into them at certain times you could see the truth about a person. So Ha--Potter was still fighting, still not giving in. Typical Gryffindor, though now I think about it, Slytherins are like that too. If they weren't, then the old feud between the houses would have ended years ago, and not still be going on.

"Professor?" Potter asked. His voice was cracked, as if he hadn't drunk anything in the last couple of days, which I reasoned with myself, he probably hadn't.

"Sit back Potter," I said, scowling. I wondered how anyone could do this to their own flesh and blood. I remembered my childhood. I had been beaten by my father, and forced to watch my mother under going the same treatment. "I'm getting you out of here." 

I wasn't going to leave him. I couldn't. Even if I wanted to. I had been through this, though not to this extent.

I unlocked the chains around his arms and picked him up. As I did so I was alarmed by his weight, or rather, the lack of it. He should definitely have not have been so light. 

Ha--Potter was awake for a bit longer, as I took him out of the house, but passed out after a few more seconds. 

I walked round to Arabella Figg's house and knocked on the door. The answer was quick, and her old face appeared at the door.

"Severus, what--" she cut herself off from asking what had brought me there when she saw Ha-Potter in my arms. "Come in, quickly," she said after a few seconds of recovering.

I entered the house, still carrying the worryingly (A/N: Don't you just love words like that?) light boy. 

"I need to get to Hogwarts quickly," I said in a rush. "Albus sent me to check up on H-Potter, and I found the house empty, looked as if it had been so for several days. I also found him, chained to his bed and locked in his room."

"Yes. Go quickly," she said, realising the urgency of the situation. "I knew that Number four had been quiet the past few days, but I never..." her voice broke off, as if ashamed of herself. I knew exactly how she felt. All these years I had thought of Potter as a spoilt brat, with fame gone to his head, but I had been wrong, oh so wrong. 

I walked into the living room and placed the boy down for a second as I with drew my wand.

"Incendio," I whispered, pointing to the fire place. Flames lit up immediately, and I took some of the floo powder Arabella had beside it. I then picked up Harry and walked into the fire place. 

I dropped the powder and said, "Hogwarts Infirmary."

I felt the familiar feeling of travelling via floo, one which I had always hated though I was never sure why. 

I stepped out of the fireplace in the Hogwarts infirmary and saw Albus and Poppy standing there. Their expressions were grave, and though I was shocked to see them, for some reason it didn't surprise me. It was as if I knew they were going to be there.


	2. Similarities

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**Windows To The Soul**

**Chapter Two - Similarities**

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I was down waiting down in my potions classroom for news of Har-Potter's condition. I had left the Hospital Wing unable to stand the tension there.

For some reason I felt an unexplainable sense of guilt. It was foolish, I know, why should I feel guilty? I was the one who got Ha-Potter out of there, but I still felt it.

I suppose one of the reasons I feel this guilt is because of how I treated him in class. I had always though that Harr-Potter had been treated like a hero, a king, by his relatives, when in reality, his childhood was much worse than even mine.

Yes, my childhood was bad. My father was abusive. He was the one responsible for my Mother's death. I was there when it happened.

-------Flashback-------

I was sitting in the corner, tear streaming down my face. I was 15 years old, and I knew I should have been able to defend myself from him, but I couldn't.

My Father had just finished beating me, and I saw him turn to my Mother.

"Woman! Get me a drink!" he ordered her.

My Mother, for the first time in years, refused.

"No! I won't! I've always given you enough chances Charles, but that was the last straw!" she said shrilly.

I knew she was talking about what my Father had just done. He had beaten me so badly he had broken my arm and several ribs for getting a B in one subject.

I looked to my Mother. Surely she had no idea about what she was doing. She was openly defying him, and he was going to hurt her for it, and I could do nothing.

"What woman?!" he demanded. "Dare you defy me?"

"I refuse to stand by and watch you do this to our son!" my Mother screamed at him.

At this point I closed my eyes, not wanting to watch what was happening. I wished I could close my ears to the sound of my Father hitting my Mother, and her final scream.

I opened my tear-filled eyes after that and saw my Mother lying dead on the floor in a pool of blood, and my Father standing over her with a bloody kitchen knife.

-------End Flashback-------

I was snapped out of my reminiscing by Albus. I saw the look on his face, and instantly knew who it was about - Harry.

"What is it?" I asked nervously, not entirely sure I would like the answer.

"Harry is going to be okay. He should be waking in a few minutes," Albus said calmly as I rushed past him and up to the Hospital wing.

As I arrive and Albus only a few second behind me, I approach Harry bed. His eyes flicker, and he opens them, peering up at Albus and me.

"I know I spend a lot of time in the Hospital Wing, but isn't this a little premature, even for me?" he asked jokingly, whilst his breathing heavily.

I smile, glad he's well enough to make a joke, feeble as it may be.

"Still the same Gryffindor, Potter?" I ask before stalking out of the Hospital Wing, glad that he's okay, my cloak billowing behind me.

Later that evening my thoughts kept drifting back to Potter. All this time I had though things about him, and now I had found out they weren't true.

Now that I thought about it, there were similarities between the two of us. Both of parents were dead was one. Both of us had abusive relatives. Both of our mothers died to protect us. Both of us - well, have a lot in common, but I shan't go into them yet.

Now that I thought about it, Harry isn't as much like James Potter as everyone thought, as I thought.

His eyes are definitely Lily's, being emerald green like hers, and his hair too is different from James'. It has a slightly auburn tint to it when it's in the light, whereas his father's was jet black, with no tint in it. It's also straighter than James', more like Lily's, but still incredibly messy. 

His facial features are very similar to his father's too, but they are different. They're more defined, sharper. His skin is paler than James' too, even though that could be due to the amount of time he's spent in the sun recently.

Now that I think about it, it appears that he's changed quite a bit over the short time since the end of the school year, since the death of Black.

He no longer looks so much like James Potters' son, and more like Lily Potter'sson. It's shocking really how much he's changed.

**A/N:** So, what do you think? I got a bit more in about Snape's past. I hope to get more in about it, and some about what happened to Harry.

**Gatogirl1: ***blushes* Was that last chapter really that good? I actually wrote that a little while ago. 'Piss off' is two words, but yah, is good word. I'm not really too sure when about in the summer this is, but I thinks it's about the middle, so Dumbledore would have arrived back at school to start preparing for the next school year. I've not decided about where Harry'll be staying in the future, but it couldn't be with Sirius. Impossible.

**Fen: **Heehee! His childhood. I got more about it in. More shall follow. Or at least, I hope it shall. I shall make everyone feel sorry for poor li'l Sevvie-Snape because of how bad his childhood was!


	3. The Truth Comes Out

**A/N:** Hello! This is fun to write. I have a sort-of plot in mind for this. I'm not too sure it'll work, but after that last chapter, I think it'll work out. Or maybe that should be 'I hope it'll work out' instead. 

**Disclaimer:** This isn't mine, I only own the plot.

**_________**

**Windows To The Soul**

**Chapter three - The Truth Is Revealed**

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The following day Albus came down to my office where I was sitting working. I looked up as he entered the room and placed my quill down. 

"Yes Albus?" I asked patiently considering that my work had just been interrupted, and I would probably lose my train of thought altogether.

"Severus, I need you to come up to my office later. Harry has recovered since when you found him, but we need to find out what happened," he said heavily.

I frowned. There was something he wasn't telling me about Ha-Potter.

"Why do I need to be there?" I ask quietly, like a spoilt child. 

"Because, Severus, I need you there to give him veritaserum, if need be," he said in a voice not to be argued with.

My frown deepens. I have never understood the man's logic, but it was usually for the best.

I stood up, and walked over to a cabinet in the corner. I opened it then picked out a phial of clear liquid, the most powerful truth potion known, veritaserum.

I saw that Albus had already left. I shook my head. I really didn't need that at that particular time. I had enough on my mind.

Sighing, I walked up to his office.

"Earwig and Lime Flavoured Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans," I said as I reached the gargoyle that guards the entrance to the Headmaster's office. I'll never understand that man's fascination with sweet for passwords.

Just as I was about to climb the stair I saw H-Potter coming along the corridor. He looked as subdued as I felt, and he was looking a little thin, even if he was nowhere near as thin as yesterday.

I wait for him, knowing he doesn't know the password, and since it would be almost impossible to guess.

As he entered and walked up the stairs I go in. I wouldn't want to arrive at exactly the same time as him, but a few seconds after would be okay.

I pushed open the door to find Ha-Potter sitting down in front of Albus' desk. Albus was sitting behind it and there was a spare chair.

"Ah, Severus, come and sit down," said Albus. 

I did as I was bid, wishing I could be anywhere but in that room. Living through the nightmare of abusive relatives was bad enough; I didn't want to be reminded of it.

"Now Harry," said Albus once I had taken my seat. "We need to find out what happened at your relatives. Could you tell us?"

I saw Ha-Potter's eyes go wide, and his pupils shrink in fear at the memory.

"I don't want to talk about it Professor," he said quickly.

"Now Harry, we need to find out," repeated the Headmaster, this time more firmly. "You have two choices: tell us willingly, or we will have to use veritaserum. I do not wish it to have to be the latter of the two, but it is of the most importance that we know exactly what happened."

I saw Potter nod, giving in. He obviously realised that Albus was serious, and that either way he would have to relive the memory.

"When I got back to the Dursleys at the start of the summer my u-uncle knocked me out. I'm not sure why, but when I came round I was c-chained to my bed," he said. 

It was strange. I had never heard him stutter before. The only Gryffindors ever to stutter were Neville Longbottom and Peter Pettigrew. H-Potter most certainly didn't stutter. I didn't even think he knew _how_ to stutter.

"After a few hours my uncle came into s-see me, or rather to hit me. He st-started to yell at me that it was all m-my fault, that I was a freak, that I d-deserved everything I got. He left after about h-half an hour like this, but not before telling me that he had destroyed all of my school thing, and k-killed my owl, Hedwig.

"Over the next couple of w-weeks he carried on like this. I d-don't know why he was acting like it. He u-usually just tries his best to pretend I don't exist during s-summer. A-anyway, d-during this time my aunt d-didn't know what w-was g-going on. A-after she f-found she c-confronted my uncle. H-he k-k-k-killed h-her," at this point Har-Potter's broke down into silent tears. I couldn't believe it. Mine and Albus' faces were shocked. Whatever we had expected, this certainly wasn't it.

"Harry," the Headmaster said gently. "Harry, I know this is hard for you, but we need to know everything. It'll help to get it out as well."

Harr-Potter nodded before continuing. He took a deep breath then started talking again.

"After w-what happened, my u-uncle got worse and worse in the w-way he acted. He started hitting h-harder, and m-more often. Also, a-after what happened with m-my aunt, m-my cousin f-found out. He d-didn't t-try to s-stop my uncle l-like my aunt. I d-don't blame him for it. I-instead he settled for helping m-me as much as possible. W-we may have had our d-differences, but he couldn't j-just not h-help. He brought me food, a-and slowly I began r-regaining some of my s-strength. Then m-my uncle found out.

"W-when he found out h-he k-k-ki-kil-kiled m-m-my cousin. H-he said he had been corrupted by me, by the 'freak'. That was one of the last things he said t-to m-me. The n-next day he came in, h-hit m-me harder than ever before, a-and for longer too. He said it w-was a parting gift. H-he also told me he was leaving me t-to rot in th-that room. Af-after that I blacked out. I never saw my uncle again after that."

I saw the look in Potter's eyes. When he had spoken of his cousin's death he threatened to get tearful again, not that I could blame him. Even if they didn't get along, or even like one another, there was no way he couldn't.

Now that he had finished he fully broke down into sobs. It must have been hard on him to say what happened, so soon afterwards, but I agreed with Albus. It was better out than in. And now, after all, the truth had come out.

**Ckat44:** I have, and thank you!

**Hermionegreen: **I forgot to mention that. Oh well, at least I answered that question in this chapter. I hope this answered your question about the Dursleys. Two are dead, and the other has vanished. 

**Goldengirl2: **I know, poor Harry! And poor Snape from the last chapter! He had to witness his mother's murder! You can't forget about that!

**Denise:** Thank you. I like I too.

Yay! This is my second update today! I'm not sure when I'll next update though. Hopefully soon.


	4. Take Him IN

**A/N: **Okay, I know Vernon murdering Petunia and Dudley and them sticking up for Harry was out of character, but more shall be revealed as to why that happened. Also, it has literally been months since I updated this, but I've been having trouble with it (my way of saying I hadn't bothered with it) and I was updating my other fic, and then I got started on the sequel.

**Disclaimer: **I only own the twisted plot, and a twisted muse who thinks up twisted plots and forces me to turn them into twisted fanfics.

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**Windows To The Soul**

**Chapter 4 - Take Him In**

**_________**

Har-Potter had left the room, and myself and Albus were deep in thought, trying to figure out why Harr- Potter had told us the amount that he had.

"I don't think he told us everything," I said, breaking the silence that seemed to surrounding the room, creating a strange tension.

I had never seen Albus look so old when he looked up at me. I could tell he was under great pressure as far as this was concerned.

"I agree with you there Severus," he said tiredly. "But at least he told us something. But he needs somewhere to stay for the rest of the summer."

I looked at him for a second, knowing where this would lead.

"I will take him to Snape Manor," I said slowly, anticipating the argument that would surely follow.

"Why Severus," said Albus quietly. "I never expected you to offer."

"Well," I replied scowling. "I know you're going to ask me to take him in, and I just don't want to spend hours arguing over it."

It was true. I simply knew I would lose that argument with Albus. I always lost arguments with Albus, no matter what they were about. He always seemed to know how to win. Strange, it was, how that could happen.

"Very well," he said heavily, looking older than I would have ever thought possible, especially for him.

I got up and left, going down to my rooms before going to get Ha-Potter to tell him where he would be staying for the remainder of the summer.

All the way down I was thinking. So much had happened in the last few days, so many illusions had been shattered, so many things that I had done, so many things that had been found out. I didn't know how much more I could take. Little did I know that soon enough I would be facing more unexpected surprises than I could ever imagine, more shocking than any other that I could even think of.

**A/N: **Okay, short, but I had a fair idea about my ability to get another out before Christmas, or even New Years (I won't be able to) so I thought I'd better get this out now. Plus I have a vote for people about the future of this. Either way you vote I'm not bothered. I can pretty much think of how this will go for each of them. Now you chose.

1)   Severitus' Challenge

2)   Harry/Snape slash

3)   Just plain friendship

So, which one do you want? Whichever it is, vote for it. Your vote will count! Also, what do you want to happen to Vernon?

1) To be hunted down by Snape and killed.

2) To be hunted down by Snape and turned over to the proper authorities.

3) To be hunted down by members of the wizarding community and killed.

4) To be caught by the muggle authorities and charged with murder.

5) To get away clean free.

And now for the review responses.

**HermioneGreen: **Yeah, it would. I may well have Sevvie do that, depending on the outcome.

**Gatogirl1: **I'll do that. I kinda need to do something like that. And I know JK's Vernon would, neither would her Dudley, but with what I've got in store, maybe it would be acceptable for what happened. I'll take your suggestions into mind, and use them. The flashbacks will be coming. And chapter 2 was that good? *blushes* I had no idea it was.

**Goldengirl2: **I know. Thanks. 

**Dark Angel: **It made you cry? It made me cry too. I always hated Vernon, so now he's a murderer! 

**Nora Lena Potter: **Thank you!

**Fen: **Thank you!

**Queen Cari: **Erm, so you've decided what you want to happen to Vernon?


	5. His Past

**A/N: **Woohoo! New chapter! Woohoo! And as for the polls, here are the results so far: 

_Vote one:_

_1)   Severitus' Challenge- 2_

_2)   Harry/Snape slash- 1_

_3)   Just plain friendship- 2_

_Vote 2_

_1)         To be hunted down by Snape and killed. - 1_

_2)         To be hunted down by Snape and turned over to the proper authorities._

_3)         To be hunted down by members of the wizarding community and killed. -1_

_4)         To be caught by the muggle authorities and charged with murder. - 1_

_5)         To get away clean free._

_Also, there was a vote for one I didn't ask. That was by an anonymous viewer called 'me' who wanted __Vernon__ to become a Death Eater. _

There are the results as of now. Anymore are appreciated. It'll be in the next two chapters when I announce the over-all result. And if you decide to chose one of a couple, but no more than three, on vote two, or two on vote one, I will put you down for both.

And if you're wondering, this chapter has more details about why Vernon did it. I hope it won't force me to put the rating up (but since it's PG-13, and I'm 13, it should be okay).

**Disclaimer: **I, as Byproduct of Evil, lack the ownership of the characters that happen to belong to one Joanne Kathleen Rowling, which, in summery, means, I don' own n'em!

**Chapter 5 - His Past**

I can't believe some of this, even as I recall the tale, all this time later.  It seems impossible to believe, or at least parts of it do.

As I walked down to my office not long after I told Harr- Potter that he would be staying with me for the remainder of the summer (something which he took surprisingly well) again I was lost in thought, as was increasingly happening to me that summer.

Yet again, the boy plagued my thoughts. Harry Potter. Why was it that I couldn't stop thinking about him? I found out later, but for now I will just carry on with the story.

There was something about him that seemed different, though it could just have been the fact I had never gotten to know him, just assumed that he would have been spoilt, would be just like his father. No need to tell you that I now knew that I was wrong. You have already seen that.

No, I was certain there was something different about him. I just knew it. He wasn't himself. Before the start of the summer he was a perfectly happy person. Well as close to perfectly happy as someone who had seen their godfather, the closest person to a father they had, murdered before their very eyes, only to be told afterwards that the fate of the wizarding world, and maybe even eventually the muggle world as well, rested on his shoulders, and his ability to destroy a wizard that was stronger than any other.

I knew I would probably find out eventually, but I wanted to find out then. Normally I'm relatively patient about these things, but for some reason my instinct (damn them) would leave me alone. Since it was the second time that week, I decided that it could well change how things turned out in the future if I didn't listen to them. And there was also the fact I wanted to listen to them this time, as I, myself, wanted to know.

I knew that if I didn't try to get the whole truth out of Harry I wouldn't be able to let myself rest, that it would eat me up inside, no matter what. Yes, I do have feelings, though this may surprise many of my students. I've just learnt to keep them from affecting me ever since I was a child.

After a few minutes of deep thinking I got down to my rooms and made sure all of my work for the summer was shorted and packed. I usually stayed at Hogwarts for the summer. I had no wife or family, and I never wanted to go back to Snape Manor, one of the few places I really and truly hated. There were too many painful memories there for me.

Soon enough I had managed to sort out my things, find Potter, and get to the Manor. Arriving there for the first time in years was hard for me, but nonetheless, I kept my composure.

I looked down at Har- Potter, surprised at how quiet he was. They was a far away look in his eyes, like he was remembering something, and I had a suspicion that it was something terrible. We had travelled by portkey, so I guessed that it would be the night of the third task.

"Potter," I said gently, making him jump. I could understand this, as it was the first time I had ever spoken to him gently.

He looked up at me for a second, his eyes wide with fear, and I saw he was out of it still. I had no idea what to do. I stared into his eyes for a second, and saw that the rebellious spark was still there, like it always had been, but it was dulled slightly, as if something was blocking it.

Suddenly, I realised there was about one way out of this. Maybe there was more, but by the time I would have managed to do them, it would have been too late.

Swallowing, I muttered a spell that would allow me to enter his mind and pull him out of it.

The spell is different from Legitimency. Legitimency just allows you to see the memories of the person that you are entering the mind of, and see if that person was lying or not. The spell I used wasn't widely known, though the people that did know it specialised in bringing people around from comas and other such states of unconsciousness, just like Harry was going through at that moment.

I felt the familiar feeling of entering another's mind, one which I wished I never had to feel, and I saw the memories Potter was seeing over and over again.

_'Kill the spare.'_

_'Take Harry and run!'_

_'Move aside you silly girl!'_

_'NOOOOOOO SIRIUS!'_

_'You're never going back to that freak school again!'_

_'Make Harry  get it!'_

_'I'll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I'm not there.'_

The visions started going by more quickly, more coming, always repeating, until I finally found a memory that would possibly save the wizarding world.

_A fat man, probably the uncle, grabbed Harry and threw him in a room, the same room I had found Potter in. It looked like the start of summer, as light was shining in through the window in the hall. _

_His eyes narrowed as he looked down on the boy. I could tell that the man had been drinking. Growing up as I had had taught me how to recognise the signs that most others couldn't without smelling the breath of the person who had been doing the drinking._

_'It's your fault my company went bust!" accused __Vernon__._

_'I didn't!' came Potter's reply._

_'I know you did it!' snarled back Har-Potter's Uncle. 'You did it just like to cast that spell thing on __Dudley__ last year! Admit it!'_

_' I- Didn't- Do- It," replied Pott-Harry, emphasising each word._

"I knew what was coming next," said a ghostly voice beside me. "I knew what Uncle Vernon was about to do."

I span around in Harry's mind and turned to face the owner of the voice. It was Po-Harry, only he looked like he was in a dream.

Hearing banging from the memory, I turned around, instantly regretting it.

_Vernon was standing over Harry's blooded and bruised form, kicking and occasionally punching the boy that was entrusted to his family's protection each summer._

_After a few more minutes of this __Vernon__ took him and chained him to the bed, making sure he couldn't escape._

_'This will make you learn not to use your devilish magic on me or my family,' said __Vernon__ menacingly, a mad glint in his eye._

"He didn't do that every summer," came the same dreamy voice of Harry. "Just most of them."

His eyes were still as glazed over as before, an expression on his face as if he didn't really accept what he was seeing.

I turned back to watch the scene again, still horrified at what I was seeing, and watched for awhile longer, before remembering the true reason why I was here. I turned back to grab onto Harry, to bring him back to the real world. He wasn't there.

Sighing, I started going through each of the memories in turn, searching for the boy. Soon I stopped my search as I spotted him at another memory, he looked the same as he did when he had found me watching his memory of the summer, only this time he was actually taking part in the memory.

_He ran breathlessly towards some bins, occasionally looking back over his shoulder to see if a gang of people, I recognised one as his cousin, were still chasing him. They were._

_He picked up his pace towards those bins and jumped, disappearing in mid-jump with a pop._

_He reappeared on top of a tall school building, looking terrified._

"Why are you putting yourself through this?" I wonder aloud.

_Harry turned to face me, and I saw he had a black eye and a split lip._

_'Because I deserve it,' he hissed to me._

The scene went, and another appeared. This time I hadn't willingly changed to another memory.

_It was dark, really dark. He was in a cramped room, nothing more than a cupboard, I guess, and he was crying. He looked no older than five or six._

"What happened here?" I gasped out.

_The boy in front of me looked up and stared at me with the same distant eyes as I had seen in the previous two memories._

_'This was the time performed accidental magic. I turned ordinary water into grape juice. Aunt Petunia went crazy. I didn't understand why,' was my reply._

This memory faded again, without my doing it, and I visited several more memories. After a bit longer, I remembered again why I was here. The next memory was the first one I visited. 

It went through the same things again, and Harry appeared beside me. I grabbed onto his arm, and pulled him out with me. Soon enough we were both back outside Snape Manor, me staring in shock at the person before me, now knowing only some of what he had been through.

"Professor..." Harry started, before falling into a dead faint.

**A/N: **Oh my, this chapter was so much fun to write. And it's about the longest so far. Snape's made it to an important milestone this chapter. Especially in his relationship (get your mind _out of that gutter. Me too. Relationship could mean friendship or blood relative too, you know!) with Snape. For some reason I find Snape really easy to write._

**Ckat44: **Thanks for you opinion, but the only time I won't write slash is if the other options win. And so far, they are.

**Asdf: **Okay. I love slash too, but I'm not too bothered about whether this is or not. And I would certainly enjoy torturing Vernon (I hope people vote for something where that is possible)!

**Me: **You didn't like my options about Vernon I'm guessing? Oh well, I like your idea. T'would be fun! And t'would involve some torture of Vernon!

**Neflanthir: **Okay! You got it!

**Gatogirl1: **The Severitus' Challenge is where Snape is Harry's dad (though it has been done where Harry is Snape's dad, weirdly enough) and Harry has to go through a physical change process in his appearance. Also, Lupin has to be back at Hogwarts and the fic has to be mainly based around Harry and Snape (I got that last bit covered!). And I like slash! They're not my fave slash couple, but I like them together sometimes. Parts of the reasons are in this, but there are more. I just gotta think of them.

Okay, there you have it everyone. Flashbacks from Harry's past. There will be more, only Harry will be telling Snape about them, not Snape actually witnessing them, though they will be in Harry's POV (so be warned!). I hope your all ready for this. And my doubt in my ability to get this out before Christmas was unfound! Here it is! Super long for me as well. My X-mas gift to you all!


	6. Painful Memories

**A/N: **Me again! No, don't run away! You won't see Harry's memories this chapter.

The results are now as follows, though there's still a chance to vote:

_Vote one:_

_1)   Severitus' Challenge- 4_

_2)   Harry/Snape slash- 3_

_3)   Just plain friendship- 4_

_Vote 2_

_1)         To be hunted down by Snape and killed. - 3_

_2)         To be hunted down by Snape and turned over to the proper authorities. -2_

_3)         To be hunted down by members of the wizarding community and killed. -4_

_4)         To be caught by the muggle authorities and charged with murder. - 2_

_5)         To get away clean free._

_Also, there was still that choice where __Vernon__ becomes a Death Eater. 'Me' chose that one._

**Chapter 6 - Painful memories**

That night, after I had seen some Harry's more... prominent memories, I sat in a chair in the lounge on the first floor, just giving in to my memories for the first time in years.

I knew this would be hard for me, but as I had seen much worse that day, I didn't care. Also, I knew it was time to begin the healing process, by recalling them and reliving them, something which I had been putting off for years.

Waiting this long, blocking out the memories of the past, were not good for anyone. It was the same as bottling your feelings up, until they all burst out in one, coming back ten-fold what they would have been if you had just let them out. This was definitely how it was for the memories I was experiencing.

The pain, the horror, everything from my childhood and teenage years living with my 'family' came back, much worse than it had been ever before. I wanted to stop at this point, but I would not. I just kept remembering them, knowing it could be a lot worse.

After about an hour, I heard a scream and jumped up, my eyes wide with fear. I... knew that scream. It couldn't be... it just _couldn't_.

My heart thumping heavily, my breathing loud, as I rushed from the room, my cloak swirling behind me. 

I was constantly telling myself that it wasn't who I thought it was, there was no way it was possible, there was no way, he wouldn't have. But no matter how much I told myself this, I still needed to be sure.

I opened the library door, my pulse racing, and stepped inside.

It was dark, and it smelt of old books. I always used to love it there. It was harder for _him to find me there, in amongst the shelves, where there were so many hiding places. I had spent many a summer in here._

_'You stupid boy!'_

My eyes widened. In front of me was a scene rolling out in front of my eyes, and I recognised it.

_'You worthless snivelling brat!'_

I heard the sound of flesh hitting flesh, of fists making contact with another's body, the sound of a child crying out in pain, the sound of my past, though there was no sight there, and I suddenly understood.

Muggles may have said that this house was haunted, wizards would have disagreed. Only one of those groups would have been correct. That group would be the muggles, though only to some extent.

The house was haunted, yes, but not by the ghosts muggles associate with hauntings. That place is haunted by things no man would ever want to know about, though I did.

To most the manor wasn't haunted, but to those that knew it well enough, it was. I knew it well enough, and I knew the thing that haunted it. It was haunted by ghosts, but of a different sort to the usual ones. These were ghosts of the past, though they had never lived. Normal ghosts had all lived at one point, but these ghosts, these ghosts were memories of the past and they constantly haunted me in that place.

There is another thing that haunts it for me. These come from inside of me, from my very heart, my very soul. They're part of me, part of my very essence, and they always tear away at my insides, trying to get out.

Everyone has them, everyone has their own inner demons, though they rarely affect them. Yes, these were my own inner demons that were forcing me to hear moments of my past, though the sounds were dieing now, and I could feel the pain that they brought fading away. 

_'You worthle...'_

The voice died out completely, and I knew that I had faced them, I had fought them, and I had won. I would still remember everything that had happened to me, with some pain, but I would be much happier than if I felt none at all. Now I just hoped Harry, who was resting, recovering, in one of the many bedrooms, would be able to face them as I had just done, only much sooner, before his life is swept with darkness, before it's too late.

My life was forfeit back then, as one person could take it, one person could destroy, and that person was the person whom I had pledged my life to, the person whom I had betrayed the most. That person was the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort.

I was stuck in one place where I would be considered on the winning side either way, but I was also in a position where either way I would be on the losing side. If one person wasn't to defend me, if I wasn't able to defend I myself, then I would die. I no longer knew what I believed in at that point, but I did know that either way I most probably screwed.

**A/N:   **Do not ask where any other this came from. I honestly have no idea. And now I'm officially worried about my sanity.

**Hippy Flower: **Okay, I've made a note of your vote. Hey the rhymes!

**Ckat44: **I did!

**SSJClaire: **Okay, thanks.

**Javana: **Okay, variety is good.

**BlueGryphon: **Okay. I counted your vote. And Vernon's quite likely to be dead the way things are going.

**Sarah: **Okay. We'll see soon.


	7. The Death Eaters are meeting

**A/N: **New chapter! Yay! And I hope you appreciate Snape having an attempt at humour in this chapter. I just needed to do this at the meeting. Here are the results of the poll thus far:

_Vote one:_

_1)   Severitus' Challenge- 11_

_2)   Harry/Snape slash- 4_

_3)   Just plain friendship- 11_

_Vote 2_

_1)         To be hunted down by Snape and killed. - 7_

_2)         To be hunted down by Snape and turned over to the proper authorities. - 5_

_3)         To be hunted down by members of the wizarding community and killed. -6_

_4)         To be caught by the muggle authorities and charged with murder. - 4_

_5)         To get away clean free._

_Also, there was still that choice where __Vernon__ becomes a Death Eater. 'Me' chose that one. And there has just been a suggestion by 'Miss Elizabeth' who thinks Harry and __Vernon__ should fight and Harry should win somehow, and Miss Aurelia wants Harry to get his own revenge._

By the time the next chapter is up, unless there is a draw, I will announce the final results.

**Chapter 7 - The Death Eaters are Meeting**

Not long after my encounter with my inner-demons I was sitting beside Harry's bed, the one I had put him in not long after he had passed out out front. I was worried about him, though I was unlikely to let him know about it, and I wanted to stay and make sure he was okay. Little did I know for the next few hours I wouldn't have been able to.

I felt a searing pain on my forearm, and instantly knew what was about to happen. This was just great, just bloody brilliant timing.  Had the By-Who-Lived in my manor, and now the Dark Lord had to call a meeting. Just bloody brilliant.

Quickly, I left Harry's bedside and went to get my Death Eater cloak and mask. Tardiness for a meeting usually resulted in a cruciatus or two, so I was anxious not to be late, even more anxious than I was about going.

I always hated these meetings. I always had. The previous year when the Dark Lord had called his first meeting besides the one at his rebirth, the first one I had shown up to. I had been unable to move around fully for a week, though the Dark Lord had seemed to buy my excuses, after giving me a few _cruccio's_ of course. He wouldn't have let me leave without a few of them.

I shook my head to clear it of those memories, and, after putting on the cloak and mask, apparated to where the Dark Lord was.

"My lord," I said bowing, after crawling forwards to kiss the hem of his robes in the customary manor of Death Eaters arriving at a meeting. Quickly I crawled backwards and into my usually place in the circle.

As I looked around, I was relieved to see I wasn't the last to arrive, as they usually got a little, ah, _present from the Dark Lord for arriving last. Just thinking about it is enough to make any man shudder._

Finally, the last couple of people arrived, and I was shocked to see the Dark Lord didn't give any _cruccio's. He must have been in a good mood._

"Severus," said the Dark Lord. "What news do you have to report from Dumbledore's school?"

"My Lord," I started. "As of yet, there is very little to report. Dumbledore does not seem to trust me much at this moment in time."

That was a lie right there, though it was about the only full lie I told. When spying, I almost always only ever told half-lies, you know, editing the truth. All Slytherin's do it, and it was something that had stuck around since my school days.

"But I have heard that Dumbledore has a spy in your inner-circle, My Lord," I said, continuing. That was true. The spy was me. "The spy seems to give Dumbledore information on all of your attacks Master." Yes, that was true. I did.

"Snape!" he hissed. "Do you have any idea of who this spy is?"

"No My lord. Dumbledore seems to feel a need to keep his spies secret, to protect them," I said, glad Dumbledore felt this way.

"You will find out by the next meeting Severus," the Dark Lord ordered. I really hate him at times. No, scratch that. I really hate him all the time.

"Yes, My Lord," I replied, bowing to the man, glad that he didn't show any suspicions of me at that moment.

"Lucius," the Dark Lord said, moving onto the next person in the circle. It carried on like this, for a while, until he had questioned all of the Death Eaters there, before finally telling us what he had put him in a good mood. It was the normal order for a meeting.

"My Death Eaters!" he said, some joy evidence in his voice for one of the first times since I joined his circle. "I have received some interesting information concerning one Boy-Who-Lived."

"What is it, My Lord?" asked Avery foolishly.

"Cruccio!" hissed the Dark Lord. "Avery, you do not interrupt me."

The Dark lord lifted the curse and Avery got up and resumed his place in the circle, still shivering from the effects of the cruciatus.

"It appears that the wards around his house have fall. We attack privet Drive tonight!"

My eyes went wide with that as I realised what it meant. The Dark Lord obviously didn't know that Harry had left, or much else of what had happened since I took the boy from that house, which surprised me since he usually knew all of the information about something.

Knowing better than to stay behind after the meeting, I apparated away with the rest of the Death Eaters, back to Snape Manor.

(**A/N: **Do you know how tempted I was to leave it there?) As soon as I got out of the Death Eater robes and mask I immediately went to see how Harry was doing. By the time I got to his room he was conscious, though it surprised me that he had stayed in bed, knowing how much he hated staying bed when he was at the hospital wing at Hogwarts.

He was staring blankly up at the ceiling, his arms underneath his head.

"You're awake then," I said, trying to make conversation.

"Yes," he said politely, too politely for any 16 year old boy.

"Are you okay?" I asked, wanting to keep him talking for some reason.

"I'm fine, Professor."

"Call me Severus during the summer, please."

I don't know what made me ask him to call him that, I really don't. Normally I would never have let any student call me by my given name, but here I was, asking one to call me by it.  Had no idea what had come over me at that moment, though I supposed it could have been pity.

**A/N: **Yeah! Another chapter finished! Sorry it took so long for me to update. I managed to rite this ages ago, but couldn't be arsed to put it up. And I think it's started to develop something! And do you know what that something is? It's a plot! Oh my! Betcha didn't think I'd have one of them!

Oh, and thanks to all my reviewers. I would normally thank everyone individually, but I'd basically be thanking everyone for their vote, and for reading the fic, so it's easier like this.


	8. Lily's Eyes

**A/N: **Okay, the polls are officially closed. I won't bore you all with the details, but I will tell you all that there will just be a friendship between Harry and Snape, and that Vernon gets the distanced pleasure of being hunted down and killed by Snape. I hope you all enjoy this as much as I will.

**Chapter eight - Lily's Eyes**

Harry looked at me for a moment, as if he had noticed something was off, though he soon went back to staring at the ceiling. I decided to confront an issue I knew would come up eventually.

"Harry..." I started out feebly. I had absolutely no idea what to say.

He turned his eyes towards me, and I felt the same feeling that I had felt before of something like someone looking into my soul, often when Albus looked at me when I was still a student, though it seemed strange to feel it coming from someone younger than me.

"Yes, Prof... Severus?" he asked me, though I couldn't find my voice.

It was his eyes, I realised. I had never truly noticed them before, and even if I had, it was never enough for me to realise consciously that they were identical to Lily's. It was right there and then that I felt honestly, truly and 100% guilty for the first time since my mother's death at my father's hands.

_-------Flashback-------_

_It was the night of my mother's funeral, the rain was falling heavily, and the sky was extremely dark, perfectly matching my mood and feelings at the time._

_My eyes filled with tears as I watched my mother in her being lowered into her final resting place, in the very clothes I had seen her murdered in, as is the tradition with magical funerals._

_ I managed to blink away the tears. I couldn't cry there, I just couldn't. My father was there, and if he saw my tears then I would get punished, punished for being weak. I would cry later, silently in my room so he would not hear, but I couldn't cry there. There was no way I could afford to._

_That was my life. Do one thing wrong, even the tiniest thing, and I got punished. The punishments had gradually gotten worse over the years, each one more severe than the last, but they had never been too bad. At least not until he killed Mother. After that he had only seemed to care about serving the Dark Lord, and preparing me for his service._

_Before he had seemed to care, or at least acted as though he had, but afterwards, it was as if he had lost all meaning to his life, as if everything he had cared about had been snuffed out. Maybe he had cared for her, maybe, deep, deep he had loved her, but I can never be sure. I probably never will be._

_-------End Flashback-------_

"Professor?" asked Harry timidly, as if he expected to be punished for enquiring about my health. "Are you all right?"

"Yes, Harry, I'm fine," I said, trying to reassure him. It seemed to work, as he lay down, and resumed staring at the ceiling.

**A/N: **Yay! Another chapter! Sorry it took so long, but I seemed to loose my drive for fanfiction for a while. But now it seems to be back, along with a few other things.

Okay, since I can be bothered now, I'll answer the reviews for the last chapter!

**This guy here: **Okily dokily! (I love that phrase!)

**The Bloody Queen of Hearts: ***smiles* Thanks a lot!

**Miss-Aurelia: **A plot can't be that unusual, can it? I hope not. Thanks for the review anyways.

**Padawan Jan-AQ: **Yeah, you were. I got your vote. Thanks a lot.

**HecateDeMort: **Thanks. I like slash too. But not many others seem to. Oh well. I was happy to do any of them. *rubs hands together gleefully* But what happens to Vernon is going to be fun! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**ShardWing: **So would I. And so shall he be. As much as I love Snape he is going to have to have some trouble with Harry. I couldn't just turn it into a fluff fic! Not after all that's happened to Harry and Severus!

Anyways, that's all from me for the moment on this fic. I'm gonna try and update my other two (both my other HP and my latest one, a Pirates of the Caribbean one) tonight. Cyaz! 


	9. The End

**A/N: **It's me again! No! Don't run away! Good! Now stay! That's better. Just so you know, this is the last chapter.

**Disclaimer: **Harry potter isn't mine. I have never claimed ownership to it anyway.

**Chapter nine - **

I looked at Harry for a moment. It wasn't natural for a child to be that quiet, especially not a 16 year old boy **(A/N: **I know from experience with my brother**)**. He should have been full of life, happy, noisy, like any teenager.

"Harry, I-" I started, but was cut off. The mark - it was burning.

I let out a hiss of pain, drawing his attention.

"Pro- Severus, what's the matter?" he asked, sounding slightly afraid, as though he expected to be hit, though his voice was still relatively bold. Some people never change completely.

"It's okay," I managed to gasp out. "He's calling me!"

With that, I left the room quickly and got my mask. I needed to get there quickly. If I didn't I would be in for another of the Dark Lord's little 'lessons'. I really didn't want to have to go through that.

I apparated to where Voldemort summoned us, just outside Privet Drive. The pain in my arm resided quickly as I arrived, and I went through the usual bowing and such before Voldemort started up.

"My faithful Death Eaters, tonight is the night I finally rid myself that of bothersome brat, Potter! Kill any you like, but _Potter is mine_."

He emphasised the last words, as if to make sure that none of us would touch him. We wouldn't anyway. Even those that are truly loyal to him wouldn't. Everyone knew what would happen if anyone hurt him before Voldemort got a chance.

I set off, trying to cause as little damage as possible, not wanting harm anyone, though, of course, I had to do something to prevent the Dark Lord's suspicions.

"Incindio," I said, pointing my wand at a bush. It burst into flame, and I moved on to something else.

I could hear the other Death Eaters killing and torturing the muggles. I used to be like them. Fortunately I manage to reform myself. Though there was one muggle I wouldn't say no to torturing.

For the next 10 minutes I carried on burning plants and the like, until I made one discovery that would make my day. Vernon Dursley.

Even thinking about it now I can't stop the smile that comes to my face. I know I shouldn't have enjoyed torturing him, but after what he had done to Harry, his own nephew, I couldn't help it.

I had found him hiding, cowering behind some muggle rubbish bins. At first I didn't recognise him, foolish of me really, and I was going to tell him to get out of there, but I remembered then remembered what he had looked like, his build at least, from Harry's memories, and I could feel my face spread into a gleeful smile.

"Dursley," I said, making him turn around. This was going to be fun.

I saw him go white when he saw me, and turn to run.

"Petrificus Totalus!" I yelled, casting the full-body bind on him, knowing full well it would only make it more painful for him without the ability to scream. "You're not going anywhere, Dursley."

I could see his eyes dart around fearfully, as if hoping, by some miracle, that he would find some way out of this situation.

Realising I wanted to hear his screams, I bound him with some ropes that I quickly summoned, and then ended the petrificus.

Raising my wand, I knew that revenge would be sweet. Sure, a lot of the curses I use on him could send me to Azkaban, but the thought of revenge on that fat muggle instantly dismissed all thoughts of the consequences.

I can still list the names of the curses and hexes I used that night on him. The cruciatus, incindio, waterma, which put out the flames, the skin tearing curse, the bat bogey hex, the Conjunctivis and the Blood Boiler to name but a few, though I didn't use the Killing Curse. No, the other curses I used on him caused him so much pain that he died before I had a chance to. His screams still stick with me and give me joy to this day, as will the fact that they may never be able remove his blood from the ground.

You may call me evil, to enjoy another mans suffering at my own hands without feeling remorse, but you must remember what this man has done. He may not be on the same scale of evil or darkness as the Dark Lord, but in some ways he is evil, there is no doubt.

He had beaten, neglected, starved and goodness knows what else his own nephew, along with killing his own wife and son, before taking off, leaving Harry chained to a bed to starve. 

He had also returned to the place where he had committed such heinous crimes against his own flesh and blood, for reason we may never know the reasons of. But I believe he had gone back, probably to finished Harry off if I hadn't of take him out of that place only a matter of days earlier. Knowing how a murderer often thinks (one of the many downsides of working for the Dark Lord) he would then have probably of disposed of the body the same way he had done for the rest of his family.

I could go on for hours about this, I know I could. It's very easy to. Surprisingly easy to in fact. But I'm sure you don't want to hear about that, so I will go on to the rest of the attack.

After the Dark Lord had discovered that Harry wasn't there, which was just after I'd finished torturing Dursley, we all got out of there quickly. He gave us each a short dose of the cruciatus and then dismissed us. It was a small price to pay, really. After all, I had got the revenge I had wanted so much. And there I go again, talking about my revenge on Dursley. I had better stop that before you start to think that I am truly evil.

There were very few meetings after that that summer, and it was the same for the rest of the school year as well. Time passed quickly, and steadily Harry and I developed a friendship, a kind of understanding between one another that no one else had, and we remained close friends for the years following, we still are now, in fact.

This is the end of this story. Perhaps there will be another in the future, another tale like this to tell. I certainly hope it will not be like this one if there is another, but only time will tell.

I am getting old now, too old to recount this for much longer, so perhaps I should just give in and stop trying to make my time here seem longer. I feel it is time for a classic ending to this, so I big you good bye, and I hope you enjoyed my tale.

**A/N: **Okay, those of you that have been following my most recent fics will know I've not been satisfied with my writing as of late, but it seems I'm back in business! You have no idea how pleased I am with this! It's amazing! Look out everyone, coz Byproduct of Evil is back in action!

That's enough of that. How'd everyone like the ending? I needed to end this now, otherwise it would have dragged on for who knows how long. Plus it has a happy ending, which is good. 

But for those of you that didn't want it to end so soon, I promise I'll be writing a prequel to this once I've finished my most recent fic and I'm a good way into an AU for that fic as well. And possibly will be a good way into my PotC one too. Right now I just have too many stories going for me to write effectively.

**HecateDeMort: **I've written more, okay? But this is the end of this. I have seen those sort of Severitus' though. I've seen almost every sort of Severitus challenge response. 

**redlady27: **it was slow, as you can tell. Very slow. Agonisingly slow. For Vernon. No quick Avada Kedavra either!

**Padawan**** Jan-AQ: **Here's the next and final instalment.

**starangel2106: **Thank you! Here's the last bit!

Okay, that's it. Look out for the sequel everyone, though that may take a while. Hopefully I'll start it during the summer some time.

But this is it from me on this. Thank you for reading and peace out!


End file.
